I often ask myself, why am I here? What am I doing? There are times when these questions pain me. I feel like I am not contributing enough. And then something happens, there is a shift. A cause. A need. A reason. I think we all struggle with wanting to do more.

Becoming a mother has enriched my life in ways I never thought possible. I always knew I wanted to have children but after struggling for many years without success I thought I would have to let that dream quietly slip away. And then I met Sara. The love of my life. Someone who loves me in a way I never thought possible. She supports me, she challenges me, she encourages me, she make me laugh, she makes me cry. Both happy and sad tears. She is the person I have chosen to have at my side as I walk through this complicated and complex world. She is my best friend. She is the mother of my children. She is my love.

Happiness is ethereal. I remember Sara telling me that her Dad once told her that she shouldn’t strive for happiness which is out of a person’s control. In this life one should measure their accomplishments or successes by how they achieve their goals, how they choose to fulfill themselves and their families. I like that.

I feel most fulfilled when I am actively participating in making things better. That might be helping a friend in need, donating time and effort to a particular cause, or holding onto my daughter’s perfect little fingers as she takes her first steps.

With only a couple of months to go, the TriAdventure is my primary focus in the area of giving back. My success will be measured by the amount of money I can raise for the 51 children of Nikibasika and by challenging myself physically in the 3-day triathlon.

I know the answers will change but the questions will remain the same. Why am I here? What am I doing?